A Great Loss

I am unsure of how to depict the storm of emotions I have felt come January. All I could feel is the empty dark hole and its bitter taste of loneliness. It seems as though change is constant on my part as losing another dear friend marks its history in my time line. How I wish to flee; run as far as I could before the depression I have avoided for so long would come creeping back towards me like a fly attracted to the unattended cup of sugar.

If there was a ship that would take me to Neverland, I would board it this instant because with all this sadness, I doubt I could manage to fly away from here. I have coped with my grief with a lot of fake smiles till I myself was almost sure that they were genuine enough. It was the only way to alleviate the wretched pain of dejection.

The unspoken rage and fumed faces of those people around me still lingers every time I closed my eyes. Sleeping became unbearable. The sarcastic criticism from someone as close as your own relative would root in your ear and ring at every second interval like an acidic alarm clock as had mine. The sharp stares of your uncle, contradictory to his smiles and loving efforts in making your mad cousin smile back at him would eventually scorch through your skin as if his gazes were made of volcanic inferno just as what I have felt.

The more I pondered these isolation, the more I feel engulfed by depression and the only way I could release myself off this misery is by freeing my mind to a world of fantasy.

By doing so, I read and completed "The Lovely Bones" by Alice Sebold in less than 24 hours and it had helped to ease my pain a little..

I wish to be Susie Salmon with her very own heaven..

The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold